I never ever got porn.
Why would I want to watch other people get laid and not me?
What I am interested in is ads I get served on myspace.
Such as an ad that said "overcome porn with jesus"
(if you're a girl you probably don't get ads like that - all the ads on myspace are targeted)
here's what it said on the site:
The purpose of this website is to help people like you and I, overcome bondages and addictions caused by Pornography.
Statistics show that in average, 50% - 65% of Christian men are involved with pornography. We fear the figures are much higher.
Today we have the availability of pornographic explicit images, videos, and games at the touch of our fingertips. It is now much easier to access such content without enduring embarrassment or getting caught. We are living in a dark era that is exploiting women , men, children, and even animals to produce sexual arouse and sinful satisfactions.
This website is for those of you that have come to a dead end in your struggle overcoming these addictions or for people that would like to have a roadmap to avoid these addictions from the start.
How much healing should I expect?
If the Son therefore shall make you free, you shall be free indeed" John 8:36
Yes... you will totally be set free and finally get rid of the bondage & compulsive desire.
Maybe you came up with “another theory” of recovery. Who knows? The bottom line is that nothing will really set you free unless you are delivered by the power of God. You will be craving your Porn every day of your life and will be miserable and acting miserable. Your attitude will change and you will go through crazy mood swings. Not only that.... The minute you get a chance you will fall again.
I'm actually working for some christians at the moment. They always pay me really well. In fact they given me a month long contract in July for 15k.
nice.
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Mr. & Mrs. Right
I’ve been so busy at work and considered that I might be going crazy.
I’ve been thinking about becoming a better person.
Not right away, but y’know, soon. And I’ve been wanting to blog about how I’ve been thinking about becoming a better person recently.
But every time I try, I sound like a big fuckin gay and feeling how smug all those fuckin penniless lesbian losers who are always telling me I’m arrogant and shallow and all the rest would be.
I mean just because even after you got your stupid arts degree you’re not smart enough to get a decent job and make half what I do and your boyfriend looks like a bum it doesn’t make me shallow, k?
I like models for the same reason I like chocolate. It’s yummy to put in your mouth.
Liking chocolate and german automobiles and models doesn’t make me shallow it just means I like nice things. I don’t like second rate shit.
But I work too hard.
And I get frustrated, so I take my frustrations out by being arrogant and insensitive, because I reason, “that’s life”.
Or did you fail to realise you've grown up in a world obsessed with money and sex? Did you not see that one coming?
And you call ME shallow. sheesh. "Don't hate the player, sweetheart . . ."
Like I laugh at people who want to ban GE.
”oh! You should have thought about that 30 years ago when your capitalist overlords introduced it secretly! Oh well. Maybe next time.”
So there I was, I was sort of complaining mournfully that
“there’s no one in my life that inspires me”
Which is true.
Or considering that because I’m kind of arrogant and a womaniser, the only women I attract are second rate, and I just cant connect to them. It’s kinda lonely. Diddums.
In fact, I was lying awake in bed and the realisation just hit me.
A NEW BEAMER OR BENZY IN THE NEXT FEW MONTHS WILL IN NO WAY GET YOU CLOSER TO MEETING A WOMEN YOU RESPECT.
it’s fuckin’ depressing. But it’s true.
But if you’ve ever had a girlfriend you’ll know that they don’t want you to succeed and realise your potential and dreams. They just want you to watch a DVD with them.
By the time you’re talking about walks along the beach you can forget it, I got this money to make.
Often I compare the way I behave to a hot chick. If you know any hot chicks, you’ll know that they have what is known as a “bitch switch”.
It’s used to keep loser guys away by instantly turning into a cold, nasty little cow, that will cut them down the moment they try to lay down their ragged game.
And this is often why I act like an arrogant prick, because it keeps girls who aren’t too bright and have emotional problems and dont think that hard away.
I mean, I tell you I'm arrogant and shallow, so I must be, right?
That’s when I realised that’s what my problem is.
I’m like a hot chick. Sitting there, waiting. Waiting for a half decent guy with some real game to come along and in the meantime amusing myself swatting flies away.
I know plenty of hot chicks who just have got way too caught up in the fact that theyre hot, and that that’s all they’re expected to be, so theyre happy with themselves, and meantime theyre just wasting their life and their looks waiting for what they think theyre entitled to.
I don’t want to be like that any more!
I’ve always said that the kind of people I hate are the people who’s only aim in life is to be better than theyre best friend. I hate those small little worm people. If you have a friend like that, just find things to throw at them until they go away.
So yeah. The fact that I’ve got a better job and am a lot smarter and cooler than you means I can act superior if I want.
But is that improving myself, is that taking me to a higher level of achievement, inspiration and personal development?
Or am I just stuck in a sad little rut like you are?
Most chicks are never going to meet the guy they dream of. Theyre just going to settle for some dude who is getting too old to do better.
So I dunno. I’m going to start by visiting my granma in the home more often, and then maybe I been thinking of yknow, like volunteering at starship or looking at other ways I could impress hot chicks by being caring and stuff.
Girls don’t really care about this stuff. They just want a lie to believe, one they can share with their friends.
But that’s not the point.
And maybe rather being gratified that I’m a rich prick who’d run circles round most, I’m gonna look forward to being gratified that I am . . . Mr. Right.
But maybe being Mr. Right does make me a better person.
I’ve been thinking about becoming a better person.
Not right away, but y’know, soon. And I’ve been wanting to blog about how I’ve been thinking about becoming a better person recently.
But every time I try, I sound like a big fuckin gay and feeling how smug all those fuckin penniless lesbian losers who are always telling me I’m arrogant and shallow and all the rest would be.
I mean just because even after you got your stupid arts degree you’re not smart enough to get a decent job and make half what I do and your boyfriend looks like a bum it doesn’t make me shallow, k?
I like models for the same reason I like chocolate. It’s yummy to put in your mouth.
Liking chocolate and german automobiles and models doesn’t make me shallow it just means I like nice things. I don’t like second rate shit.
But I work too hard.
And I get frustrated, so I take my frustrations out by being arrogant and insensitive, because I reason, “that’s life”.
Or did you fail to realise you've grown up in a world obsessed with money and sex? Did you not see that one coming?
And you call ME shallow. sheesh. "Don't hate the player, sweetheart . . ."
Like I laugh at people who want to ban GE.
”oh! You should have thought about that 30 years ago when your capitalist overlords introduced it secretly! Oh well. Maybe next time.”
So there I was, I was sort of complaining mournfully that
“there’s no one in my life that inspires me”
Which is true.
Or considering that because I’m kind of arrogant and a womaniser, the only women I attract are second rate, and I just cant connect to them. It’s kinda lonely. Diddums.
In fact, I was lying awake in bed and the realisation just hit me.
A NEW BEAMER OR BENZY IN THE NEXT FEW MONTHS WILL IN NO WAY GET YOU CLOSER TO MEETING A WOMEN YOU RESPECT.
it’s fuckin’ depressing. But it’s true.
But if you’ve ever had a girlfriend you’ll know that they don’t want you to succeed and realise your potential and dreams. They just want you to watch a DVD with them.
By the time you’re talking about walks along the beach you can forget it, I got this money to make.
Often I compare the way I behave to a hot chick. If you know any hot chicks, you’ll know that they have what is known as a “bitch switch”.
It’s used to keep loser guys away by instantly turning into a cold, nasty little cow, that will cut them down the moment they try to lay down their ragged game.
And this is often why I act like an arrogant prick, because it keeps girls who aren’t too bright and have emotional problems and dont think that hard away.
I mean, I tell you I'm arrogant and shallow, so I must be, right?
That’s when I realised that’s what my problem is.
I’m like a hot chick. Sitting there, waiting. Waiting for a half decent guy with some real game to come along and in the meantime amusing myself swatting flies away.
I know plenty of hot chicks who just have got way too caught up in the fact that theyre hot, and that that’s all they’re expected to be, so theyre happy with themselves, and meantime theyre just wasting their life and their looks waiting for what they think theyre entitled to.
I don’t want to be like that any more!
I’ve always said that the kind of people I hate are the people who’s only aim in life is to be better than theyre best friend. I hate those small little worm people. If you have a friend like that, just find things to throw at them until they go away.
So yeah. The fact that I’ve got a better job and am a lot smarter and cooler than you means I can act superior if I want.
But is that improving myself, is that taking me to a higher level of achievement, inspiration and personal development?
Or am I just stuck in a sad little rut like you are?
Most chicks are never going to meet the guy they dream of. Theyre just going to settle for some dude who is getting too old to do better.
So I dunno. I’m going to start by visiting my granma in the home more often, and then maybe I been thinking of yknow, like volunteering at starship or looking at other ways I could impress hot chicks by being caring and stuff.
Girls don’t really care about this stuff. They just want a lie to believe, one they can share with their friends.
But that’s not the point.
And maybe rather being gratified that I’m a rich prick who’d run circles round most, I’m gonna look forward to being gratified that I am . . . Mr. Right.
But maybe being Mr. Right does make me a better person.
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Fruit Salad
Yummy yummy.
Pretty much.
I been Dr. Philling out on every fucker in sight this weekend. I see cats walking down the street and basically i’m all on them asking them whether they’re recognising the responsibilities they have in their relationships and the roles they’re playing there.
Even this massive samoan guy at the gas station who tried to take my place in the queue I addressed my issues toward him and challenged whether the expectations he was placing on me were realistic.
Yeah I’m getting a mortgage.
Hot, huh?
I’m turning into dad.
WOULD YOU BLOODY KIDS QUIETEN DOWN?!
Or the lot of ya’s will have a bloody thick ear!
oh wait that’s illegal now isn’t it?
gay
Fruit salad! Yummy yummy
Pretty much.
I been Dr. Philling out on every fucker in sight this weekend. I see cats walking down the street and basically i’m all on them asking them whether they’re recognising the responsibilities they have in their relationships and the roles they’re playing there.
Even this massive samoan guy at the gas station who tried to take my place in the queue I addressed my issues toward him and challenged whether the expectations he was placing on me were realistic.
Yeah I’m getting a mortgage.
Hot, huh?
I’m turning into dad.
WOULD YOU BLOODY KIDS QUIETEN DOWN?!
Or the lot of ya’s will have a bloody thick ear!
oh wait that’s illegal now isn’t it?
gay
Fruit salad! Yummy yummy
Hate facebook
So I was on facebook.
- You can’t keep a good cyber stalker down -
There’s this guy I owe payback to for something that happend way back, so I was stalking away on facebook, hunting him down like a dog for the pain he visited upon my people, to y’know, strike him down and rain great vengeance upon him.
Nothing illegal! You don’t have to break the law to put people in misery.
(another good reason to be successful - paying back those who brought you suffering in kind. And no I don’t mean ex’s. Sheesh. I mean like thieves, perverts and attackers. Bad guys.
)
when I notice - because I barely know how to use the fuckin thing - some hottie all messaged me last year about blah blah blah myspace did you have a good time at the gig last night rah rah rah . . .
- Green lights mean go -
and I’m like oh HOT
click on her . . .
on her pic
to see her profile to see if she’s single . . .
My options are:
1 - Add to friends
2 - Message
3 - View friends
No, you don’t understand me. I want to see her profile. I want to see if she’s single.
FACEBOOK, WHAT ABOUT "SEE IF IS SHE SINGLE?"
WHAT ABOUT FUCKING LOOK AT HER PROFILE TO SEE IF SHE’S SINGLE.
FACEBOOK, THAT IS WHAT I WANT TO KNOW.
I’m astounded.
How much do I hate that website?
- You can’t keep a good cyber stalker down -
There’s this guy I owe payback to for something that happend way back, so I was stalking away on facebook, hunting him down like a dog for the pain he visited upon my people, to y’know, strike him down and rain great vengeance upon him.
Nothing illegal! You don’t have to break the law to put people in misery.
(another good reason to be successful - paying back those who brought you suffering in kind. And no I don’t mean ex’s. Sheesh. I mean like thieves, perverts and attackers. Bad guys.
)
when I notice - because I barely know how to use the fuckin thing - some hottie all messaged me last year about blah blah blah myspace did you have a good time at the gig last night rah rah rah . . .
- Green lights mean go -
and I’m like oh HOT
click on her . . .
on her pic
to see her profile to see if she’s single . . .
My options are:
1 - Add to friends
2 - Message
3 - View friends
No, you don’t understand me. I want to see her profile. I want to see if she’s single.
FACEBOOK, WHAT ABOUT "SEE IF IS SHE SINGLE?"
WHAT ABOUT FUCKING LOOK AT HER PROFILE TO SEE IF SHE’S SINGLE.
FACEBOOK, THAT IS WHAT I WANT TO KNOW.
I’m astounded.
How much do I hate that website?
Wombat Rape
Things have a funny old way of working out.
Though people who know me know sometimes I wear eyeliner for cheap thrills, on the whole I like to be a winner which means I don’t really take an interest in poor people, ugly people, stupid people and particularly . . . boring people and thier problems.
But we’ve all got tests to face. I’ve been meaning to blog about my recent religious experiences.
You see growing up in grey lynn I was taught from a young age that it’s okay for a man to put his penis up another man’s bottom, that voting national is wrong no matter how much you earn, and that believing in god is for uneducated people.
It is said that a man is really two men.
The man he is and the man he wants to be.
The man I want to be would probably date more models, but more importantly, wouldn’t have missed the awesome party last night.
But we all have tests to face and challenges to overcome. It is the will of the universe. The idea that the will of the universe is an old man who has a beard and sits on a cloud is obviously the stupidest thing i’ve ever heard.
Sometimes you have to miss an awesome party in order to maintain your commitment to becoming, superior, smug, and dating more models.
Is it destiny, is it the will of the universe, is it some dude with a beard?
What’s the difference?
Things have a funny old way of working out.
Sometimes you work out and do your crunches to some driving drum’n bass.
Sometimes you put on some indie and think about a girl you used to know.
Sometimes you pump up an 80’s power anthem and punch the air because you’re a winner.
We’re following up on recent goat rape news with this wombat-strikes-back report.
A NEW Zealand man has been sentenced to community work after telling police he was raped by a wombat and the experience had made him speak "Australian".
Arthur Ross Cradock, 48, from the South Island town of Motueka, called police on February 11 and told them he was being raped at his home by the wombat and he needed help, The Nelson Mail newspaper reported.
The orchard worker later called back and said: "Apart from speaking Australian now, I’m pretty all right, you know."
Cradock pleaded guilty in the local court to using a phone for a fictitious purpose. He was sentenced to 75 hours’ community work.
Police prosecutor Sergeant Chris Stringer told the court alcohol played a large role in Cradock’s life.
Though people who know me know sometimes I wear eyeliner for cheap thrills, on the whole I like to be a winner which means I don’t really take an interest in poor people, ugly people, stupid people and particularly . . . boring people and thier problems.
But we’ve all got tests to face. I’ve been meaning to blog about my recent religious experiences.
You see growing up in grey lynn I was taught from a young age that it’s okay for a man to put his penis up another man’s bottom, that voting national is wrong no matter how much you earn, and that believing in god is for uneducated people.
It is said that a man is really two men.
The man he is and the man he wants to be.
The man I want to be would probably date more models, but more importantly, wouldn’t have missed the awesome party last night.
But we all have tests to face and challenges to overcome. It is the will of the universe. The idea that the will of the universe is an old man who has a beard and sits on a cloud is obviously the stupidest thing i’ve ever heard.
Sometimes you have to miss an awesome party in order to maintain your commitment to becoming, superior, smug, and dating more models.
Is it destiny, is it the will of the universe, is it some dude with a beard?
What’s the difference?
Things have a funny old way of working out.
Sometimes you work out and do your crunches to some driving drum’n bass.
Sometimes you put on some indie and think about a girl you used to know.
Sometimes you pump up an 80’s power anthem and punch the air because you’re a winner.
We’re following up on recent goat rape news with this wombat-strikes-back report.
A NEW Zealand man has been sentenced to community work after telling police he was raped by a wombat and the experience had made him speak "Australian".
Arthur Ross Cradock, 48, from the South Island town of Motueka, called police on February 11 and told them he was being raped at his home by the wombat and he needed help, The Nelson Mail newspaper reported.
The orchard worker later called back and said: "Apart from speaking Australian now, I’m pretty all right, you know."
Cradock pleaded guilty in the local court to using a phone for a fictitious purpose. He was sentenced to 75 hours’ community work.
Police prosecutor Sergeant Chris Stringer told the court alcohol played a large role in Cradock’s life.
Man and Goat
Man and Goat
oh the questions that remain . . . how did he get caught???
Was it a boy or a girl goat? was the goat underage? Pretty shabby journalism really.
I mean seriously. HOW did he get caught?
Did someone say to the goat . . . "show me on this doll where the man touched you?"
Final name suppression was granted today to a North Canterbury man who admitted trying to have sex with a goat.
In Rangiora District Court, Judge Brian Callaghan ordered the man, who turns 69 tomorrow, to undergo two years of intense supervision.
Judge Callaghan said the behaviour was "unusual, perverse and depraved" but his family, including the man’s wife, continued to support him and publication of his name would negatively affect any chances of his rehabilitation.
"It is unfortunate that cases of this nature, the way things are, attract overwhelming media publicity," the judge said.
"There is no doubt a prurient interest (in the case) that people will want to read about. Unfortunately that is human nature."
He said he believed the man’s wife was "bearing the greatest burden here".
The judge noted the man’s previous sexual offending against pre-pubescent girls more than 20 years ago, which, he said, might explain why he chose an animal to satisfy his sexual urges.
"You are a sad case, really," Judge Callaghan said. "This is such perverse and depraved behaviour it reflects a person of enormous deficiency in personality."
At his earlier appearance the court was told the man believed he would not get caught because "animals couldn’t talk" and he would not be "told on".
He had pleaded guilty then to the charge of attempting to commit bestiality with a goat.
Police said the man admitted taking the goat to the rear of his small lifestyle property in a rural township and trying to have sex with it.
After the unsuccessful attempt, the man did up his trousers, patted the goat and walked off.
"He was contrite but said he was unable to stop the behaviour," the police prosecutor said.
Urging Judge Callaghan to grant final name suppression, lawyer Andrew McCormick said the man had "significant personal problems", was unsophisticated, and as an "untreated sex offender" was at a high risk of reoffending.
When the public became aware of earlier offending against children he’d been "run out of town" and suffered regular beatings.
He’d suffered the "full spotlight of the public" and believed he was a prisoner in his own home, fearful of going out because of public hostility.
The man also suffered from a number of medical conditions, including sexual dysfunction.
"If this man’s identity is before the public, he and his family would become pariahs in the community," Mr McCormick said.
Judge Callaghan noted the maximum penalty for similar offending had been reduced from life imprisonment at the turn of the 20th century to one of 3-1/2 years.
But he said he believed a jail sentence was not warranted despite the "niggling issue of sexual offending against young females over 20 years ago".
oh the questions that remain . . . how did he get caught???
Was it a boy or a girl goat? was the goat underage? Pretty shabby journalism really.
I mean seriously. HOW did he get caught?
Did someone say to the goat . . . "show me on this doll where the man touched you?"
Final name suppression was granted today to a North Canterbury man who admitted trying to have sex with a goat.
In Rangiora District Court, Judge Brian Callaghan ordered the man, who turns 69 tomorrow, to undergo two years of intense supervision.
Judge Callaghan said the behaviour was "unusual, perverse and depraved" but his family, including the man’s wife, continued to support him and publication of his name would negatively affect any chances of his rehabilitation.
"It is unfortunate that cases of this nature, the way things are, attract overwhelming media publicity," the judge said.
"There is no doubt a prurient interest (in the case) that people will want to read about. Unfortunately that is human nature."
He said he believed the man’s wife was "bearing the greatest burden here".
The judge noted the man’s previous sexual offending against pre-pubescent girls more than 20 years ago, which, he said, might explain why he chose an animal to satisfy his sexual urges.
"You are a sad case, really," Judge Callaghan said. "This is such perverse and depraved behaviour it reflects a person of enormous deficiency in personality."
At his earlier appearance the court was told the man believed he would not get caught because "animals couldn’t talk" and he would not be "told on".
He had pleaded guilty then to the charge of attempting to commit bestiality with a goat.
Police said the man admitted taking the goat to the rear of his small lifestyle property in a rural township and trying to have sex with it.
After the unsuccessful attempt, the man did up his trousers, patted the goat and walked off.
"He was contrite but said he was unable to stop the behaviour," the police prosecutor said.
Urging Judge Callaghan to grant final name suppression, lawyer Andrew McCormick said the man had "significant personal problems", was unsophisticated, and as an "untreated sex offender" was at a high risk of reoffending.
When the public became aware of earlier offending against children he’d been "run out of town" and suffered regular beatings.
He’d suffered the "full spotlight of the public" and believed he was a prisoner in his own home, fearful of going out because of public hostility.
The man also suffered from a number of medical conditions, including sexual dysfunction.
"If this man’s identity is before the public, he and his family would become pariahs in the community," Mr McCormick said.
Judge Callaghan noted the maximum penalty for similar offending had been reduced from life imprisonment at the turn of the 20th century to one of 3-1/2 years.
But he said he believed a jail sentence was not warranted despite the "niggling issue of sexual offending against young females over 20 years ago".
Mr. Good Enough?
I just LOVE sexual politics. In case you didn’t know.
You really shouldn’t get the wrong idea.
But you can still delete me if you like, I always get sick of stupid people eventually anyway and there are heaps of stupid people on my friends list.
There are some people on my friends list who - if I was a REAL friend - I would tell them to stop using myspace as an excuse to act 15 years old.
But you know what girls are like. The truth is not one of their favourite things.
Did you see that article in the sunday star about settling for mr. good enough?
basically if you’re 30 and an 8, you should accept that you’re an 8 and settle for an 8 husband rather than holding out for a 10 and before you know it 40 and a 5 and settling for a 5 husband.
It’s so calculating isn’t it?
Don’t you just love post-feminism?
so let me get this straight.
When you’re ..:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />erin brokovich and you’re using your cleavage to save the planet, you’re sexually empowered, but when you’re pushing 40 and losing your looks, you’re best to just take what you can before you die "lonely and childless"?
Or could it be that maybe buying into all this "sexual empowerment" shit is basically setting yourself up for a fall because you chose to define yourself in terms of your sexuality because you have a sweet rack rather than say . . . oh I dunno . . .
your basic essence of goodness as a human being?
I dunno. Men are programmed to want to fuck.
You want to sell something to a guy? Put a hot chick next to it. You’ll see this . . . oh . . . everywhere?
Men are programmed to sexually profile women without even thinking consciously about it.
And that’s the reason guys are into blondes. Only young girls have naturally blonde hair while the boobs are there because men don’t have that greater noses like other animals that can smell when shes keen, so the boobs tell the man that she’s not too young.
And of course on top of tits thats another crazy thing about human females. While other animals go on heat, human females are always keen.
Thats a whole nother story to do with how useless human children are that they need two parents (another reason men are programmed to basically just want to fuck) but anyway.
The boob jobs and the short skirts and the blonde dye jobs . . . is that instinct too?
Or maybe sexual empowerment is just another marketing scam . . .
Not saying there’s anything wrong with marketing!!!!
hahaha
You really shouldn’t get the wrong idea.
But you can still delete me if you like, I always get sick of stupid people eventually anyway and there are heaps of stupid people on my friends list.
There are some people on my friends list who - if I was a REAL friend - I would tell them to stop using myspace as an excuse to act 15 years old.
But you know what girls are like. The truth is not one of their favourite things.
Did you see that article in the sunday star about settling for mr. good enough?
basically if you’re 30 and an 8, you should accept that you’re an 8 and settle for an 8 husband rather than holding out for a 10 and before you know it 40 and a 5 and settling for a 5 husband.
It’s so calculating isn’t it?
Don’t you just love post-feminism?
so let me get this straight.
When you’re ..:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />erin brokovich and you’re using your cleavage to save the planet, you’re sexually empowered, but when you’re pushing 40 and losing your looks, you’re best to just take what you can before you die "lonely and childless"?
Or could it be that maybe buying into all this "sexual empowerment" shit is basically setting yourself up for a fall because you chose to define yourself in terms of your sexuality because you have a sweet rack rather than say . . . oh I dunno . . .
your basic essence of goodness as a human being?
I dunno. Men are programmed to want to fuck.
You want to sell something to a guy? Put a hot chick next to it. You’ll see this . . . oh . . . everywhere?
Men are programmed to sexually profile women without even thinking consciously about it.
And that’s the reason guys are into blondes. Only young girls have naturally blonde hair while the boobs are there because men don’t have that greater noses like other animals that can smell when shes keen, so the boobs tell the man that she’s not too young.
And of course on top of tits thats another crazy thing about human females. While other animals go on heat, human females are always keen.
Thats a whole nother story to do with how useless human children are that they need two parents (another reason men are programmed to basically just want to fuck) but anyway.
The boob jobs and the short skirts and the blonde dye jobs . . . is that instinct too?
Or maybe sexual empowerment is just another marketing scam . . .
Not saying there’s anything wrong with marketing!!!!
hahaha
Opposite of Nickelback party
Opposite of Nickelback Party
That’s basically me really.
What kind of music am I into?
The opposite of NIckelback. That’s what I worked out.
Pretty much. The less something is like Nickelback then the more likely it is that I’ll probably be into it.
Having an opposite of NIckelback party would be awesome. Because it would probably be the best party ever.
As it turns out I AM having another of my parties @ Fu next SUNDAY - being that it is easter and we can do that . . .
unfortunately it’s not going to be an opposite of Nickelback party but however people are free to be as totally different from Nickelback as they like, in fact it is encouraged, and I am happy to announce there will be absolutely no Nickelback at my party.
It’s free. You just have to say you know me.
You should come because Fu bar is really nice, and we had really great party there last Waitangi day.
Meanwhile, Steve, my cat is becoming unbearable.
If like
a mate, started screaming his head off every time he walked in the door, I’d actually slap him and then start booting him if he didn’t stop.
Because Steve’s a cat, I can’t boot him, although he insists on running through the house screaming his head off at all hours for prolonged periods and he doesn’t shut up!
Why have girls got to be so smart arse?
Y’know every girl I know is like . . .
"Well, have you fed him?"
Like having a penis makes me some kind of retard.
Look it’s only been in the last couple of hundred years that we stopped making all the decisions so give us some credit.
We got as far as the fucking steam train without a great deal of input from chicks so you can assume that I know how to feed my fucking cat.
I gotta go do my radio show!!!!
Tune in to upfm. dj for the stream from 4pm!!!!
That’s basically me really.
What kind of music am I into?
The opposite of NIckelback. That’s what I worked out.
Pretty much. The less something is like Nickelback then the more likely it is that I’ll probably be into it.
Having an opposite of NIckelback party would be awesome. Because it would probably be the best party ever.
As it turns out I AM having another of my parties @ Fu next SUNDAY - being that it is easter and we can do that . . .
unfortunately it’s not going to be an opposite of Nickelback party but however people are free to be as totally different from Nickelback as they like, in fact it is encouraged, and I am happy to announce there will be absolutely no Nickelback at my party.
It’s free. You just have to say you know me.
You should come because Fu bar is really nice, and we had really great party there last Waitangi day.
Meanwhile, Steve, my cat is becoming unbearable.
If like
a mate, started screaming his head off every time he walked in the door, I’d actually slap him and then start booting him if he didn’t stop.
Because Steve’s a cat, I can’t boot him, although he insists on running through the house screaming his head off at all hours for prolonged periods and he doesn’t shut up!
Why have girls got to be so smart arse?
Y’know every girl I know is like . . .
"Well, have you fed him?"
Like having a penis makes me some kind of retard.
Look it’s only been in the last couple of hundred years that we stopped making all the decisions so give us some credit.
We got as far as the fucking steam train without a great deal of input from chicks so you can assume that I know how to feed my fucking cat.
I gotta go do my radio show!!!!
Tune in to upfm. dj for the stream from 4pm!!!!
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Marcus Aurelius Ceasar
Not EVERYONE who was an emperor of the Roman empire ran around fucking horses and what not.
Marcus Aurelius was the nice old bloke in "Gladiator".
The object in life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.
- Marcus Aurelius
The only wealth which you will keep forever is the wealth you have given away.
- Marcus Aurelius
The secret of all victory lies in the organization of the non-obvious.
- Marcus Aurelius
The sexual embrace can only be compared with music and with prayer.
- Marcus Aurelius
The universe is change; our life is what our thoughts make it.
- Marcus Aurelius
To the wise, life is a problem; to the fool, a solution.
- Marcus Aurelius
Tomorrow is nothing, today is too late; the good lived yesterday.
- Marcus Aurelius
Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one.
- Marcus Aurelius
We ought to do good to others as simply as a horse runs, or a bee makes honey, or a vine bears grapes season after season without thinking of the grapes it has borne.
- Marcus Aurelius
Whatever the universal nature assigns to any man at any time is for the good of that man at that time.
- Marcus Aurelius
When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive - to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.
- Marcus Aurelius
You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.
- Marcus Aurelius
Marcus Aurelius was the nice old bloke in "Gladiator".
The object in life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.
- Marcus Aurelius
The only wealth which you will keep forever is the wealth you have given away.
- Marcus Aurelius
The secret of all victory lies in the organization of the non-obvious.
- Marcus Aurelius
The sexual embrace can only be compared with music and with prayer.
- Marcus Aurelius
The universe is change; our life is what our thoughts make it.
- Marcus Aurelius
To the wise, life is a problem; to the fool, a solution.
- Marcus Aurelius
Tomorrow is nothing, today is too late; the good lived yesterday.
- Marcus Aurelius
Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one.
- Marcus Aurelius
We ought to do good to others as simply as a horse runs, or a bee makes honey, or a vine bears grapes season after season without thinking of the grapes it has borne.
- Marcus Aurelius
Whatever the universal nature assigns to any man at any time is for the good of that man at that time.
- Marcus Aurelius
When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive - to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.
- Marcus Aurelius
You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.
- Marcus Aurelius
Monday, March 3, 2008
My Day
The doctor told my mother I'm showing excellent development for a two year old and for kicks I've started messaging random chicks on myspace telling them to stay away from my boyfriend.
Then I pick some guy who's commented them and claim to be their closet gay lover.
This is why you don't see me getting bored and posting those stupid surveys. I already know who I am and I'm not booorrrriiinnnggggg.
I mean theres a couple of guys who want to smash me for claiming to be their gay lover, but hey. I know I'm an asshole. But i'm also free tonight.
But as part of my reintegration into the mainstream community I went to Birkenhead. I was amazed to find they live very much similarly to the way my people do in Grey Lynn, despite not living close to clubs and the kind of cafes where cool people hang out, they appear to live relatively normal lives.
We bought a new printer for work yesterday, so I built a base out of the box it came in in the hall. It has a docking bay for friendly spaceships, as well as a bunker I can get inside for when enemies attack.
Then I pick some guy who's commented them and claim to be their closet gay lover.
This is why you don't see me getting bored and posting those stupid surveys. I already know who I am and I'm not booorrrriiinnnggggg.
I mean theres a couple of guys who want to smash me for claiming to be their gay lover, but hey. I know I'm an asshole. But i'm also free tonight.
But as part of my reintegration into the mainstream community I went to Birkenhead. I was amazed to find they live very much similarly to the way my people do in Grey Lynn, despite not living close to clubs and the kind of cafes where cool people hang out, they appear to live relatively normal lives.
We bought a new printer for work yesterday, so I built a base out of the box it came in in the hall. It has a docking bay for friendly spaceships, as well as a bunker I can get inside for when enemies attack.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Penile Clamps?
Anyone for penile clamps?
The guys from Google have checked out my page and THIS is the kind of ads they think I'm interested in?
Sponsored Links
Get Rich Online
Can You Copy And Paste? You Can Start Getting Rich Now!
www.TheReverseFunnelSite.com
Russian Woman like Model
Do You Want Russian Model to be Your Wife? Join. Free registration
www.Anastasia-International.com
How Do I Seduce Women?
Do Women Really Want To Be Seduced? The Answer Inside May Shock You
RealWorldSeduction.com/SeduceHer
Incontinence in Men
Our Penile Clamps Help You Live Hassle Free. Buy Two For CAD89.95!
www.IncontinenceClamp.com
Yeah pissing myself is such a drag - especially for me, a busy guy on the go. Might give a few buddies the heads up about these great Penile Clamps at www.incontinececlamp.com AND only $90 Canadian for two - that's one for a friend!
How could you say no? In fact you may as well throw a russian mail order bride on there as well and make a night of it!
Either somethings up at Google or they know something I don't and I'm a lot more fucked up than I thought I was.
The guys from Google have checked out my page and THIS is the kind of ads they think I'm interested in?
Sponsored Links
Get Rich Online
Can You Copy And Paste? You Can Start Getting Rich Now!
www.TheReverseFunnelSite.com
Russian Woman like Model
Do You Want Russian Model to be Your Wife? Join. Free registration
www.Anastasia-International.com
How Do I Seduce Women?
Do Women Really Want To Be Seduced? The Answer Inside May Shock You
RealWorldSeduction.com/SeduceHer
Incontinence in Men
Our Penile Clamps Help You Live Hassle Free. Buy Two For CAD89.95!
www.IncontinenceClamp.com
Yeah pissing myself is such a drag - especially for me, a busy guy on the go. Might give a few buddies the heads up about these great Penile Clamps at www.incontinececlamp.com AND only $90 Canadian for two - that's one for a friend!
How could you say no? In fact you may as well throw a russian mail order bride on there as well and make a night of it!
Either somethings up at Google or they know something I don't and I'm a lot more fucked up than I thought I was.
Hatin' on the book
I actually hate the 'book.
What's your excuse for still being on myspace?
Mine is it's gay. Did you know girls on Facebook outnumber guys 2:1?
Not surprising. Not only am I driven insane by all stupid little apps informing me so and so has "bought you a drink at the bar" or wants to "see how similar our movie tastes are" or "challenges me to an arm wrestle" - do you think I've honestly got time for this purile crap?
But facebook has also been designed to shutdown two of my favourite things about myspace.
Stalking and spamming.
Stalking on randoms/hotties/people you despise and wish to see suffer is all part of the joy of myspace!!!!
Yeah I'm a total spam ninja. Bet you didn't know that. But wait, no - I consider myself like y'know, that dude Dark Angel. I may be a spampire, but I use my powers for good instead of evil.
And why do I want to hang out with and message people I already know? I know what they're like, the magic and mystery has gone and in the clear light of day let's face it, they're boring.
Sure, if you want to fuck your ex boyfriends best friend, Facebook, probably an option there. But you'll find me sticking right here, thanks.
This from the guardian:
"And does Facebook really connect people? Doesn't it rather disconnect us, since instead of doing something enjoyable such as talking and eating and dancing and drinking with my friends, I am merely sending them little ungrammatical notes and amusing photos in cyberspace, while chained to my desk? A friend of mine recently told me that he had spent a Saturday night at home alone on Facebook, drinking at his desk. What a gloomy image. Far from connecting us, Facebook actually isolates us at our workstations.
Facebook appeals to a kind of vanity and self-importance in us, too. If I put up a flattering picture of myself with a list of my favourite things, I can construct an artificial representation of who I am in order to get sex or approval. ("I like Facebook," said another friend. "I got a shag out of it.") It also encourages a disturbing competitivness around friendship: it seems that with friends today, quality counts for nothing and quantity is king. The more friends you have, the better you are. You are "popular", in the sense much loved in American high schools. Witness the cover line on Dennis Publishing's new Facebook magazine: "How To Double Your Friends List."
(god that last "high school" part was so 2005. Who honestly thinks that way any more)
PS I got propositioned by a potential Russian bride last night, Lyudmila from Minsk. looking for the "second part of her heart"
She was hot. Unfortunately I don't do broken english (ooooo racial)
Apparently "with men in Russia, there is much problems with drink " and they "not know how to treat woman well" so she is using "the internet to interlocute and find the love."
Hot. See? Only on Myspace, baby.
What's your excuse for still being on myspace?
Mine is it's gay. Did you know girls on Facebook outnumber guys 2:1?
Not surprising. Not only am I driven insane by all stupid little apps informing me so and so has "bought you a drink at the bar" or wants to "see how similar our movie tastes are" or "challenges me to an arm wrestle" - do you think I've honestly got time for this purile crap?
But facebook has also been designed to shutdown two of my favourite things about myspace.
Stalking and spamming.
Stalking on randoms/hotties/people you despise and wish to see suffer is all part of the joy of myspace!!!!
Yeah I'm a total spam ninja. Bet you didn't know that. But wait, no - I consider myself like y'know, that dude Dark Angel. I may be a spampire, but I use my powers for good instead of evil.
And why do I want to hang out with and message people I already know? I know what they're like, the magic and mystery has gone and in the clear light of day let's face it, they're boring.
Sure, if you want to fuck your ex boyfriends best friend, Facebook, probably an option there. But you'll find me sticking right here, thanks.
This from the guardian:
"And does Facebook really connect people? Doesn't it rather disconnect us, since instead of doing something enjoyable such as talking and eating and dancing and drinking with my friends, I am merely sending them little ungrammatical notes and amusing photos in cyberspace, while chained to my desk? A friend of mine recently told me that he had spent a Saturday night at home alone on Facebook, drinking at his desk. What a gloomy image. Far from connecting us, Facebook actually isolates us at our workstations.
Facebook appeals to a kind of vanity and self-importance in us, too. If I put up a flattering picture of myself with a list of my favourite things, I can construct an artificial representation of who I am in order to get sex or approval. ("I like Facebook," said another friend. "I got a shag out of it.") It also encourages a disturbing competitivness around friendship: it seems that with friends today, quality counts for nothing and quantity is king. The more friends you have, the better you are. You are "popular", in the sense much loved in American high schools. Witness the cover line on Dennis Publishing's new Facebook magazine: "How To Double Your Friends List."
(god that last "high school" part was so 2005. Who honestly thinks that way any more)
PS I got propositioned by a potential Russian bride last night, Lyudmila from Minsk. looking for the "second part of her heart"
She was hot. Unfortunately I don't do broken english (ooooo racial)
Apparently "with men in Russia, there is much problems with drink " and they "not know how to treat woman well" so she is using "the internet to interlocute and find the love."
Hot. See? Only on Myspace, baby.
Maybe . . . he’s just not that into dating advice . . .
Maybe . . . he’s just not that into dating advice . . .
I'd like to be a love and relationships expert!
But this whole dating advice thing is getting out of control.
I've been following the growth of the PUA (pick up artist) movement over the last year, and it maybe an ad JUST GUYS get, but myspace has fully begun promoting prominent PUA Neil Strauss's (he's also a journalist who wrote marilyn manson's bio and a couple of others) new book "Rules of the Game."
Check it out here
www.myspace.com/neilstrauss
It's just another PUA manual teaching guys how to get women to have sex with you as quickly as possible. The obvious blunder is that it's a book. Guys don't read books.
Of course this has become a little dumbed down for the mainstream, but all the basic stuff is their – the psychological manipulation, body language cues, alpha behaviour etc. etc.
It made me think. I was thinking shit, just as a hot chick cant go out anywhere now without guys being all up on her, within a few years, every dude will be using these techniques, like telling a beautiful woman her hair/nails/tan/boobs "look fake" or other psychological tactics designed to play on the insecurity over the value women draw from their appearance, and turn the submissive approval seeking behaviour around to the man's favour.
It's a worldwide society; as far as I know there is a secret group in each main centre (AKL, WGTN, CHCH, DNDN) of men who meet to share and plan psychological techniques to seduce women, and then they go out and apply them.
But really, its all so forced and rehearsed, all these little routines, pitches, magic tricks, stories etc. all designed to display the kind of "alpha" male confidence - ("DV" - Demonstrate value - being rude to a pretty girl is known as "DHV" - demonstrating higher value) that sweeps women off their feet.
Let me just expand on a classic PUA analogy without going into too much detail.
A man using this PUA shit is like a woman using a big pair of fake boobs. They've taken the idea of what a man wants – nice round boobs – and just created a ridiculous caricature. And PUA plays on what women want – a confident man of value – by creating a trashy canned routine out of it but losing the magical allure of natural attraction and leaving nothing but a big fake joke.
Sure, heaps of guys love fake boobs because they're there and they're big! But it's actually a turn off for lots of "real" guys too. And fake confidence will turn some girls off . . . most girls will fall for it.
For me personally . . . do I want to get involved with a girl who thinks I'm weak or not "alpha" because I'm not afraid to say "sorry" when I'm wrong, or tell her I think she's beautiful? That I'll ask her where she wants me to take her, not "this is where we're going because I'm Alpha."? Probably about as much a girl wants to go out with a guy who'd like you more if you had implants.
(Most PUA stuff instructs to barely compliment a woman if at all possible, and NEVER apologise for anything)
But just as I share what I know with guys who don't do so well with chicks – because trust me, it does work, it's just there is limits – I've been saying to my girl buddies . . . look this stuff up! There's a whole different bunch of stuff for women to read to learn how to get what THEY want – IE to get their guy to stay put and do as theyre told.
That's when I started reading all that "He's just not that into you" stuff and realised . . . dating advice for women based on basic psychological manipulation etc. is nothing new!
And sure enough this leads onto a host of psychologically themed advice for women on manipulating men and guess what??? Apparently it's got nothing to do with being thin! Who would've thought?
I think it has something to do with propping up his ego.
Sounds about right. I wish my mother would tell me she was proud of me more.
What was it? "How to become a woman men don't leave"? or something. Sheesh.
But what we have is . . . all this PUA advice stuff out there telling men to act like cocky pricks and force women to seek your approval, and all this dating advice for women say . . . don't chase, force him to chase . . . and then make him dependant on your emotional support?
Dontcha just love the 21st century?
"We are strong, no one can tell us were wrong
Searchin our hearts for so lo-o-o-o-ong
both of us knowing
Love is a battlefield . . . "
I'd like to be a love and relationships expert!
But this whole dating advice thing is getting out of control.
I've been following the growth of the PUA (pick up artist) movement over the last year, and it maybe an ad JUST GUYS get, but myspace has fully begun promoting prominent PUA Neil Strauss's (he's also a journalist who wrote marilyn manson's bio and a couple of others) new book "Rules of the Game."
Check it out here
www.myspace.com/neilstrauss
It's just another PUA manual teaching guys how to get women to have sex with you as quickly as possible. The obvious blunder is that it's a book. Guys don't read books.
Of course this has become a little dumbed down for the mainstream, but all the basic stuff is their – the psychological manipulation, body language cues, alpha behaviour etc. etc.
It made me think. I was thinking shit, just as a hot chick cant go out anywhere now without guys being all up on her, within a few years, every dude will be using these techniques, like telling a beautiful woman her hair/nails/tan/boobs "look fake" or other psychological tactics designed to play on the insecurity over the value women draw from their appearance, and turn the submissive approval seeking behaviour around to the man's favour.
It's a worldwide society; as far as I know there is a secret group in each main centre (AKL, WGTN, CHCH, DNDN) of men who meet to share and plan psychological techniques to seduce women, and then they go out and apply them.
But really, its all so forced and rehearsed, all these little routines, pitches, magic tricks, stories etc. all designed to display the kind of "alpha" male confidence - ("DV" - Demonstrate value - being rude to a pretty girl is known as "DHV" - demonstrating higher value) that sweeps women off their feet.
Let me just expand on a classic PUA analogy without going into too much detail.
A man using this PUA shit is like a woman using a big pair of fake boobs. They've taken the idea of what a man wants – nice round boobs – and just created a ridiculous caricature. And PUA plays on what women want – a confident man of value – by creating a trashy canned routine out of it but losing the magical allure of natural attraction and leaving nothing but a big fake joke.
Sure, heaps of guys love fake boobs because they're there and they're big! But it's actually a turn off for lots of "real" guys too. And fake confidence will turn some girls off . . . most girls will fall for it.
For me personally . . . do I want to get involved with a girl who thinks I'm weak or not "alpha" because I'm not afraid to say "sorry" when I'm wrong, or tell her I think she's beautiful? That I'll ask her where she wants me to take her, not "this is where we're going because I'm Alpha."? Probably about as much a girl wants to go out with a guy who'd like you more if you had implants.
(Most PUA stuff instructs to barely compliment a woman if at all possible, and NEVER apologise for anything)
But just as I share what I know with guys who don't do so well with chicks – because trust me, it does work, it's just there is limits – I've been saying to my girl buddies . . . look this stuff up! There's a whole different bunch of stuff for women to read to learn how to get what THEY want – IE to get their guy to stay put and do as theyre told.
That's when I started reading all that "He's just not that into you" stuff and realised . . . dating advice for women based on basic psychological manipulation etc. is nothing new!
And sure enough this leads onto a host of psychologically themed advice for women on manipulating men and guess what??? Apparently it's got nothing to do with being thin! Who would've thought?
I think it has something to do with propping up his ego.
Sounds about right. I wish my mother would tell me she was proud of me more.
What was it? "How to become a woman men don't leave"? or something. Sheesh.
But what we have is . . . all this PUA advice stuff out there telling men to act like cocky pricks and force women to seek your approval, and all this dating advice for women say . . . don't chase, force him to chase . . . and then make him dependant on your emotional support?
Dontcha just love the 21st century?
"We are strong, no one can tell us were wrong
Searchin our hearts for so lo-o-o-o-ong
both of us knowing
Love is a battlefield . . . "
Nibbles the mouse, Valentines, Electro funk badness
It's only just really sinking in.
I was obviously heavily in denial about Nibbles the mouse after hearing the news and it just hit me last night.
Nibbles didn’t hurt anyone. He liked walking the kids to school. And basically, some drunken dero fuck came and bit Nibbles to death, and I’m pretty cut up about it.
He was a friend to the children. Now little Nibbles is gone.
Auckland SPCA's chief executive Bob Kerridge says the woman is likely to be scarred for life by the incident, which happened on Friday morning in Devonport, on Auckland's North Shore.
The woman, whose name has not been released, was walking to her son's school with her pet mouse, Nibbles, nestled in her top.
Police say she was confronted by a group of drunk or drugged men, one of whom reached out, grabbed Nibbles and put him in his mouth, crushing him.
It is understood that the woman rushed her pet to an emergency vet, to no avail.
"I still can't believe someone would be so barbaric," she wrote on the TradeMe message boards on Friday afternoon. It has been one hell of a day and I think I need a glass of wine and a cuddle from my cat. If I have to go to court, I will. The b*****d should not be allowed to get away with this."
A lot of people think I’m just obsessed with money and sex but clearly, I also have weaknesses.
Sir Ed is apparently going to have a mountain renamed after him. So in loving memory, as a sign of respect I have decided to rename my penis "Nibbles".
So if I ask you if you feel like nibbles you're completely within your rights to call the police.
VALENTINE'S IS COMING UP!!!!
And my beautiful black beamer has got a frickin blown head gasket!!!!
It's gasket . . . Is BLOWN!!! And that's BAD!!
That means I have to walk around like a peasant. . . . A gasketless wretch without a gasket to my name. I am grounded for valentines!!!
The hopes of the silently anticipating young honeys that dot my life like acne on a greasy adolescents face are to be washed by the foaming cleanser of misfortune, unable to manage the logistics required for the deftly calculated romantic stalking behaviour for which I am well known.
I’ve decided to be more picky after recently being labelled a “root and toot” type of guy. What the fuck does that mean?
So for lack of options I will be marking St. Valentine's day by stalking my ex by sending her one of those innocuous cards where I have to pretend I totally do not want to get back together. At least her dad wont be able to turn the hose on me again.
It's for the best. I hate being the bad guy. I ain't no heartbreaker.
And I do not “toot”. I’ve never tooted in my life. If I even had a horn . . .
Well I’d be partying up with 80's black funk gods like this.
I was obviously heavily in denial about Nibbles the mouse after hearing the news and it just hit me last night.
Nibbles didn’t hurt anyone. He liked walking the kids to school. And basically, some drunken dero fuck came and bit Nibbles to death, and I’m pretty cut up about it.
He was a friend to the children. Now little Nibbles is gone.
Auckland SPCA's chief executive Bob Kerridge says the woman is likely to be scarred for life by the incident, which happened on Friday morning in Devonport, on Auckland's North Shore.
The woman, whose name has not been released, was walking to her son's school with her pet mouse, Nibbles, nestled in her top.
Police say she was confronted by a group of drunk or drugged men, one of whom reached out, grabbed Nibbles and put him in his mouth, crushing him.
It is understood that the woman rushed her pet to an emergency vet, to no avail.
"I still can't believe someone would be so barbaric," she wrote on the TradeMe message boards on Friday afternoon. It has been one hell of a day and I think I need a glass of wine and a cuddle from my cat. If I have to go to court, I will. The b*****d should not be allowed to get away with this."
A lot of people think I’m just obsessed with money and sex but clearly, I also have weaknesses.
Sir Ed is apparently going to have a mountain renamed after him. So in loving memory, as a sign of respect I have decided to rename my penis "Nibbles".
So if I ask you if you feel like nibbles you're completely within your rights to call the police.
VALENTINE'S IS COMING UP!!!!
And my beautiful black beamer has got a frickin blown head gasket!!!!
It's gasket . . . Is BLOWN!!! And that's BAD!!
That means I have to walk around like a peasant. . . . A gasketless wretch without a gasket to my name. I am grounded for valentines!!!
The hopes of the silently anticipating young honeys that dot my life like acne on a greasy adolescents face are to be washed by the foaming cleanser of misfortune, unable to manage the logistics required for the deftly calculated romantic stalking behaviour for which I am well known.
I’ve decided to be more picky after recently being labelled a “root and toot” type of guy. What the fuck does that mean?
So for lack of options I will be marking St. Valentine's day by stalking my ex by sending her one of those innocuous cards where I have to pretend I totally do not want to get back together. At least her dad wont be able to turn the hose on me again.
It's for the best. I hate being the bad guy. I ain't no heartbreaker.
And I do not “toot”. I’ve never tooted in my life. If I even had a horn . . .
Well I’d be partying up with 80's black funk gods like this.
Why women live longer than men
I'm having quiet time on myspace. I haven't cracked $2k a week mark yet this year and its not acceptable.
Don't take it personally because I like money more than I like you. The Beamer is not all good and trips to the doctor for that baby are not cheap.
Some people say that money isn't everything, and it is true that money doesn't look that good in a bikini.
Other than that I can't be sure what else they might have been trying to get at.
You should get my msn if you want.
I went to whangaparoa to DJ on tuesday and lord if I didn't weep with desire at the quality of the ladies.
But I do have other interests. I have a keen and inquiring mind.
This week I've been interested in scandinavian history, Gorbachev and the fall of the USSR, chernobyl, how we'll be living in the future and why women live longer than men.
On this last matter the conclusions were as follows:
No apparently the reason is that women like to stay alive and look out for their families, and women who have children later live longer.
Guys like me of course, having just survived a 10 year "testosterone storm" that promotes risky behaviour and high cholestorol, have not only got to impress chicks enough to get the opportunity to breed, but then have to put food on the table on top of that and all that stress and stress related behaviours (boozing, smoking etc.) is likely to kill me 5-6 years earlier than if I'm a chick.
Don't take it personally because I like money more than I like you. The Beamer is not all good and trips to the doctor for that baby are not cheap.
Some people say that money isn't everything, and it is true that money doesn't look that good in a bikini.
Other than that I can't be sure what else they might have been trying to get at.
You should get my msn if you want.
I went to whangaparoa to DJ on tuesday and lord if I didn't weep with desire at the quality of the ladies.
But I do have other interests. I have a keen and inquiring mind.
This week I've been interested in scandinavian history, Gorbachev and the fall of the USSR, chernobyl, how we'll be living in the future and why women live longer than men.
On this last matter the conclusions were as follows:
No apparently the reason is that women like to stay alive and look out for their families, and women who have children later live longer.
Guys like me of course, having just survived a 10 year "testosterone storm" that promotes risky behaviour and high cholestorol, have not only got to impress chicks enough to get the opportunity to breed, but then have to put food on the table on top of that and all that stress and stress related behaviours (boozing, smoking etc.) is likely to kill me 5-6 years earlier than if I'm a chick.
Friday, January 18, 2008
I love my job . . . again
Phew, busy day.
It must be the weather, making people wanna become famous.
Oh? cool!
Yeah, that's right!
And my cousin wants to come to chemical brothers too so make sure there's a couple of extra in there. One for him, one for our other mate who's a scruffy raver who likes the pretty lights . . . and a couple to flog on trademe.
And I get a backstage press pass to BDO! That's not work though, apparently annoying "got laid last night" C4 girl is pulling some strings to pick up points with me.
*shrug*
I never go unless I get access, I dont wanna stand stinking in the sun with all you scum! I wanna be putting my game down on Brooke Fraser at the buffet.
I gotta plan my day! There are a lot of skimpy tops and short skirts to take in!
But apparently I’m not allowed to deck Gibbo, or take a camera so I can get someone to take a photo of me decking Gibbo.
My grandfather didn't fight in WWII so I would have to listen to "Fast times in Tahoe" or "Verona" or "11.57" while I was waiting in line at the bank.
Where’s the justice? I'm very passionate about this.
Now I just want a ticket to Interpol. Is there anything else I could be angling for?
A girlfriend who doesn't annoy me? Yeah right.
It must be the weather, making people wanna become famous.
Oh? cool!
Yeah, that's right!
And my cousin wants to come to chemical brothers too so make sure there's a couple of extra in there. One for him, one for our other mate who's a scruffy raver who likes the pretty lights . . . and a couple to flog on trademe.
And I get a backstage press pass to BDO! That's not work though, apparently annoying "got laid last night" C4 girl is pulling some strings to pick up points with me.
*shrug*
I never go unless I get access, I dont wanna stand stinking in the sun with all you scum! I wanna be putting my game down on Brooke Fraser at the buffet.
I gotta plan my day! There are a lot of skimpy tops and short skirts to take in!
But apparently I’m not allowed to deck Gibbo, or take a camera so I can get someone to take a photo of me decking Gibbo.
My grandfather didn't fight in WWII so I would have to listen to "Fast times in Tahoe" or "Verona" or "11.57" while I was waiting in line at the bank.
Where’s the justice? I'm very passionate about this.
Now I just want a ticket to Interpol. Is there anything else I could be angling for?
A girlfriend who doesn't annoy me? Yeah right.
One for the dinner table
A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door........ The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
"Not a chance," says the husband, "It is three o'clock in the morning."
He slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was that?" asked his wife.
"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.
"Did you help him?" she asks.
"No. I did not. It is three o'clock in The morning and it is pouring rain outside!!."
His wife said, "Can't you remember about three months ago when we Broke down and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and You should be ashamed of yourself!"
The man does as he is told, gets dressed and goes out into the pouring rain.
He calls out into the dark, "Hello! Are you still there?"
"Yes," comes back the answer.
"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.
"Yes! Please!" comes the reply from the darkness.
"Where are you?" asks the husband.
"Over here on the swing!!" replies the drunk . . .
"Not a chance," says the husband, "It is three o'clock in the morning."
He slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was that?" asked his wife.
"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.
"Did you help him?" she asks.
"No. I did not. It is three o'clock in The morning and it is pouring rain outside!!."
His wife said, "Can't you remember about three months ago when we Broke down and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and You should be ashamed of yourself!"
The man does as he is told, gets dressed and goes out into the pouring rain.
He calls out into the dark, "Hello! Are you still there?"
"Yes," comes back the answer.
"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.
"Yes! Please!" comes the reply from the darkness.
"Where are you?" asks the husband.
"Over here on the swing!!" replies the drunk . . .
People in my Neighbourhood
The Neighbour . . .
three doors down . . .
STILL has his christmas lights up.
I have a good mind to have a word with him.
This is Grey Lynn, not some bloody hippy yahoo weirdo cult commune where we flagellate ourselves with permanant christmas.
What does he think he's playing at? I've my cat Steve to think of, does he want to be put through that sort of carry on everytime he wanders out the gate?
Quite frankly, I'm disgusted.
Wow everyone's back! Apparently not everyone thought my new years bulk text which included
". . . I find mediocrity an insult and in saying that, I despise most of you . . . "
as hilarious as I did. I thought it was fucking funny. I mean did you get any stupid NY bulk texts that weren't completely predictable and gay?
What can I say, I just snapped!
Some annoying chick I gave the flick to txted me to say she "got laid last night so wont be annoying me anymore."
That goes in my "how not to get a guy back" file. I was in a total jealous rage for almost 2 seconds. Then I watched a transformers cartoon with my kid brother.
Oh and guess what???
We have a door on our bathroom like normal civilized people again!
I feel like a lord.
Its really exciting. I can have a shower without fear of gaybo's peering at my wee willy winky, though I do empathise with the disappointment in the local gaybo community.
AND Girls can now come over and make use of said facilities without worrying about my "team members" (I tend to call the people who work for me my "henchmen" but "team members" is cute) or my cousin or any other similar scruffy youths encroaching.
Romantic.
No, he's a good kid. The one time he managed to get a girl over he even "guarded" the door for her. Who's got a little sister, we can match make.
He's depressed half the time, but aren't they all?
three doors down . . .
STILL has his christmas lights up.
I have a good mind to have a word with him.
This is Grey Lynn, not some bloody hippy yahoo weirdo cult commune where we flagellate ourselves with permanant christmas.
What does he think he's playing at? I've my cat Steve to think of, does he want to be put through that sort of carry on everytime he wanders out the gate?
Quite frankly, I'm disgusted.
Wow everyone's back! Apparently not everyone thought my new years bulk text which included
". . . I find mediocrity an insult and in saying that, I despise most of you . . . "
as hilarious as I did. I thought it was fucking funny. I mean did you get any stupid NY bulk texts that weren't completely predictable and gay?
What can I say, I just snapped!
Some annoying chick I gave the flick to txted me to say she "got laid last night so wont be annoying me anymore."
That goes in my "how not to get a guy back" file. I was in a total jealous rage for almost 2 seconds. Then I watched a transformers cartoon with my kid brother.
Oh and guess what???
We have a door on our bathroom like normal civilized people again!
I feel like a lord.
Its really exciting. I can have a shower without fear of gaybo's peering at my wee willy winky, though I do empathise with the disappointment in the local gaybo community.
AND Girls can now come over and make use of said facilities without worrying about my "team members" (I tend to call the people who work for me my "henchmen" but "team members" is cute) or my cousin or any other similar scruffy youths encroaching.
Romantic.
No, he's a good kid. The one time he managed to get a girl over he even "guarded" the door for her. Who's got a little sister, we can match make.
He's depressed half the time, but aren't they all?
Workin' it like what!
The Neighbour . . .
three doors down . . .
STILL has his christmas lights up.
I have a good mind to have a word with him.
This is Grey Lynn, not some bloody hippy yahoo weirdo cult commune where we flagellate ourselves with permanant christmas.
What does he think he's playing at? I've my cat Steve to think of, does he want to be put through that sort of carry on everytime he wanders out the gate?
Quite frankly, I'm disgusted.
Wow everyone's back! Apparently not everyone thought my new years bulk text which included
". . . I find mediocrity an insult and in saying that, I despise most of you . . . "
as hilarious as I did. I thought it was fucking funny. I mean did you get any stupid NY bulk texts that weren't completely predictable and gay?
What can I say, I just snapped!
Some annoying chick I gave the flick to txted me to say she "got laid last night so wont be annoying me anymore."
That goes in my "how not to get a guy back" file. I was in a total jealous rage for almost 2 seconds. Then I watched a transformers cartoon with my kid brother.
Oh and guess what???
We have a door on our bathroom like normal civilized people again!
I feel like a lord.
Its really exciting. I can have a shower without fear of gaybo's peering at my wee willy winky, though I do empathise with the disappointment in the local gaybo community.
AND Girls can now come over and make use of said facilities without worrying about my "team members" (I tend to call the people who work for me my "henchmen" but "team members" is cute) or my cousin or any other similar scruffy youths encroaching.
Romantic.
No, he's a good kid. The one time he managed to get a girl over he even "guarded" the door for her. Who's got a little sister, we can match make.
He's depressed half the time, but aren't they all?
three doors down . . .
STILL has his christmas lights up.
I have a good mind to have a word with him.
This is Grey Lynn, not some bloody hippy yahoo weirdo cult commune where we flagellate ourselves with permanant christmas.
What does he think he's playing at? I've my cat Steve to think of, does he want to be put through that sort of carry on everytime he wanders out the gate?
Quite frankly, I'm disgusted.
Wow everyone's back! Apparently not everyone thought my new years bulk text which included
". . . I find mediocrity an insult and in saying that, I despise most of you . . . "
as hilarious as I did. I thought it was fucking funny. I mean did you get any stupid NY bulk texts that weren't completely predictable and gay?
What can I say, I just snapped!
Some annoying chick I gave the flick to txted me to say she "got laid last night so wont be annoying me anymore."
That goes in my "how not to get a guy back" file. I was in a total jealous rage for almost 2 seconds. Then I watched a transformers cartoon with my kid brother.
Oh and guess what???
We have a door on our bathroom like normal civilized people again!
I feel like a lord.
Its really exciting. I can have a shower without fear of gaybo's peering at my wee willy winky, though I do empathise with the disappointment in the local gaybo community.
AND Girls can now come over and make use of said facilities without worrying about my "team members" (I tend to call the people who work for me my "henchmen" but "team members" is cute) or my cousin or any other similar scruffy youths encroaching.
Romantic.
No, he's a good kid. The one time he managed to get a girl over he even "guarded" the door for her. Who's got a little sister, we can match make.
He's depressed half the time, but aren't they all?
Workin' it like what!
It may sound like I'm a complete loser but once my phone started ringing, I was ready to go!
Holidays. Boring.
I'd rather be marketing.
I gotta call from Hollywood, up and coming pop star . . . oh shit I really cant say, you wouldn't have heard of him. But he's heard about my work. He moves in international diplomacy as a representative of his home state of Liechenstein, this fricken james bond kinda Swiss tax haven place. Stupid cash. He rolls with like, Snoop and MJ and Barack.
And he's calling me up about making online heat for his new club slammer "Girl I wanna C U Naked". It's gotta eastern flute and a robot voice that goes . . .
"Girl. Girl. I wanna C U Naked. Girl. Girl."
Then he stats into his bit, y'know the usual business about how "it's poppin' in the spot" and theres lots of cars with big shiny wheels etc.
And I thought to myself . . .
This guy is like . . .
this guy could totally be bigger than K fed.
I fuckin love my job.
I said "Who wants to sell the latest crappy pop shit to 14 year olds???"
*sigh*
You see being a marketing guy, it seems that people know I'm good, they just don't know what I'm good at.
So I got offered $500 a day to go round filming peoples businesses so I thought why not? I can learn to work a video camera! How hard can it be?
Well actually . . . I kinda built a stage in my garage so I could film bands. We had mad . . . debris . . . but we cleared that shit out!!!
Next thing . . . my cousins like "We could build a skate ramp in here."
Well. I guess.
I was kinda more interested in using the dinghy to recreate Moby Dick on Youtube.
Well we found a harpoon! Bring some bum off the street to be crazy captain ahab and I've got another friend who would make a great white whale.
And a harpoon hanging out of his head would just look so stylish!
I'm getting shivers.
I think I'm the next spielberg.
Holidays. Boring.
I'd rather be marketing.
I gotta call from Hollywood, up and coming pop star . . . oh shit I really cant say, you wouldn't have heard of him. But he's heard about my work. He moves in international diplomacy as a representative of his home state of Liechenstein, this fricken james bond kinda Swiss tax haven place. Stupid cash. He rolls with like, Snoop and MJ and Barack.
And he's calling me up about making online heat for his new club slammer "Girl I wanna C U Naked". It's gotta eastern flute and a robot voice that goes . . .
"Girl. Girl. I wanna C U Naked. Girl. Girl."
Then he stats into his bit, y'know the usual business about how "it's poppin' in the spot" and theres lots of cars with big shiny wheels etc.
And I thought to myself . . .
This guy is like . . .
this guy could totally be bigger than K fed.
I fuckin love my job.
I said "Who wants to sell the latest crappy pop shit to 14 year olds???"
*sigh*
You see being a marketing guy, it seems that people know I'm good, they just don't know what I'm good at.
So I got offered $500 a day to go round filming peoples businesses so I thought why not? I can learn to work a video camera! How hard can it be?
Well actually . . . I kinda built a stage in my garage so I could film bands. We had mad . . . debris . . . but we cleared that shit out!!!
Next thing . . . my cousins like "We could build a skate ramp in here."
Well. I guess.
I was kinda more interested in using the dinghy to recreate Moby Dick on Youtube.
Well we found a harpoon! Bring some bum off the street to be crazy captain ahab and I've got another friend who would make a great white whale.
And a harpoon hanging out of his head would just look so stylish!
I'm getting shivers.
I think I'm the next spielberg.
Nerds. Sheesh.
"The mathematicians have also failed to take into account the mass of Santa's sleigh. Given the combined mass of all presents (assuming each good non Muslim kid gets a 500g Lego set) multipied by the velocity (he needs to travel in order to visit every house) squared, you have a behemoth amount of kinetic energy dissapated as heat. Match that up against the opposing wind resistance Santa and his reindeers would literally burn up in our atmosphere. So if Santa ever existed, he's dead now."
Christmas Shopping
I take christmas very seriously.
I'm serious about caring. The caring doesn't come in how much money you spend. It really is the thought that counts.
See, Christmas in your 20's can become quite demoralising, when gifts suddenly revert from new phones, designer jeans and possiblly even deposits on cars acquired in your teen years to your standard socks, chocolates and maybe a coffee table book with humourous pictures.
But a few years back it got just ridiculous. I didn't even get fucking socks and chocolates, but a worthless procession of stupid novelty trinkets and stuff like nuts and preserves with absolutely 0% chocolate content. That's right, there wasn't even chocolate arounf the nuts.
I was shocked.
It was time for pay back.
I vowed every christmas, each uncle, each aunty, each cousin would recieve a gift that would put the rest of my families gift giving skills to shame.
I think it's also a bit of showing my family that I'm "doing alright" especially as two of my uncles are highly qualified systems engineers, while every year, after my grandma finishes making her point about how long its been since I came to visit her, progressively more emphasis comes to be placed on . . .
"so, have you got a girlfriend at the moment . . . ?"
No grandma, I want to do something with the rest of my life other than cuddling on the couch and watching DVD's.
So now . . . let me just get off the psychiatrists couch and down to business. This is how it played out:
First, to the book sale behind Silver Bell in Eden Terrace. This is a perrenial for me, because books are well likened to "come like the sniper" so to speak.
Chocolate and socks maybe the scattershot, but with a book or CD (more on CD's later) it has to be aimed perfectly or it could miss completely and register no damage. With the right book though, it can be a direct hit. And of course, books seem expensive.
For my mum, who is seriously hooked on trading antiques on trademe, I picked up a book all about antique auctions and trading for $10. A hard cover with heaps of full colour pics.
For my Grandma and Dad / Step mum I bought them both a full colour handbook that explains really simple stuff about using digital technology - cameras, computers, phones - they both use email but I think thats where they're at. Those were $7.50
My Kid brother is doing the transformers thing hard, I know mum's got him Megatron, the baddie leader. So he's got a transformers colouring book, and sticker set which was under $10.
Then to St. Lukes, which I detest.
St. Lukes was built to keep white trash from the suburbs ransacking the cultural superiority of places like my beloved home, Grey Lynn, and to this day it keeps these rabid scores of neanderthals at bay.
So I concluded that I am not attracted to teenage girls, there's just no girls my age. They're all in australia. Or something. They turn 21 and they ship them off. All I see is girls who are too young for me, and women with prams.
Anyway. Body Shop. This year I wasn't going to rely on Body Shop. So I grabbed a little somethin' under the $20 mark for each my Mum, my grandma, my step mum and my aunty. To my mum that's a safe bet, maybe too safe. But to my step mum, body shop is still "classy" so that's solid.
Oh and the girls who work there are always cute. And they love to see a guy going to an effort to pick something just right for mum. They just need customer friendly name tags identifying which girls are single.
Then to K Mart. We work the numbers here. Cousins and Uncles are not gonna care they got the same as another cousin or uncle. As long as its solid.
AND another thing I learnt: You score points with the adults (uncles + mums) if you give their kids (cousins + brothers ) decent gear. this is big advice.
Now the kids are gonna be stoked with chocolate because it's safe as, but to score points with the parents I also go the art supplies, because cousin Matt is all about inspiring creativity, not just sugar induced mayhem. $3.50 gets you a set of Happy Feet felt pens, and theres Barbie for the girls too.
I also picked up a Lego Garbage truck for my kid brother cos it's all transformers and lego and the garbage truck comes with cool moving parts (to me lego is all about getting good parts) and actual trash that goes in the trash compartment. And I'm totally yknow . . . Christmas is for kids, so I don't mind spending a bit extra. God knows I had it pretty sweet til I hit 18.
Then shit loads of bloody mixed nut/dried fruit kinda things for my uncles and mothers boyfriend. See i'm turning into a real foodie these days and though I've got the standard dodgy import k mart fare I'm also getting them all those new Thai lime and chilli cashews because it's tasty as hell for off the shelf shit and again, looks "classy". I also bought a case of Grapetiser to throw a couple of bottles of that in there.
Finally . . . a cd is still special to old people, they think its worth something, they still pay $25 for Fat Freddy's Drop or Hollie Smith or whatever makes my 50ish uncles/aunties/parents partners feel young and groovy. And they'll feel bloody groovy as when I plop them down each a "Merry Christmas from Matt" home burnt and printed CD with a tunes like "young folks" on it.
Not only do they value it, but you pick up extra "craft" points for falling into the hand/home made category.
Even my grandma will like "Young Folks", she doesn't have to know it was one of the hippest tunes of the year. And I'm sure my Uncles will love "Hey there delilah" and "She moves in her own way" without having to know that even good music can be bad when it's aimed at the teenage/mainstream market.
DON"T FORGET!!!
I'M HAVING A PARTY AT SAFARI LOUNGE IN PONSONBY ON SUNDAY IF YOU WANT TO COME!!! IT"S FREE!!! 8PM - 3 AM
SEEYA AND HAVE A MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
I'm serious about caring. The caring doesn't come in how much money you spend. It really is the thought that counts.
See, Christmas in your 20's can become quite demoralising, when gifts suddenly revert from new phones, designer jeans and possiblly even deposits on cars acquired in your teen years to your standard socks, chocolates and maybe a coffee table book with humourous pictures.
But a few years back it got just ridiculous. I didn't even get fucking socks and chocolates, but a worthless procession of stupid novelty trinkets and stuff like nuts and preserves with absolutely 0% chocolate content. That's right, there wasn't even chocolate arounf the nuts.
I was shocked.
It was time for pay back.
I vowed every christmas, each uncle, each aunty, each cousin would recieve a gift that would put the rest of my families gift giving skills to shame.
I think it's also a bit of showing my family that I'm "doing alright" especially as two of my uncles are highly qualified systems engineers, while every year, after my grandma finishes making her point about how long its been since I came to visit her, progressively more emphasis comes to be placed on . . .
"so, have you got a girlfriend at the moment . . . ?"
No grandma, I want to do something with the rest of my life other than cuddling on the couch and watching DVD's.
So now . . . let me just get off the psychiatrists couch and down to business. This is how it played out:
First, to the book sale behind Silver Bell in Eden Terrace. This is a perrenial for me, because books are well likened to "come like the sniper" so to speak.
Chocolate and socks maybe the scattershot, but with a book or CD (more on CD's later) it has to be aimed perfectly or it could miss completely and register no damage. With the right book though, it can be a direct hit. And of course, books seem expensive.
For my mum, who is seriously hooked on trading antiques on trademe, I picked up a book all about antique auctions and trading for $10. A hard cover with heaps of full colour pics.
For my Grandma and Dad / Step mum I bought them both a full colour handbook that explains really simple stuff about using digital technology - cameras, computers, phones - they both use email but I think thats where they're at. Those were $7.50
My Kid brother is doing the transformers thing hard, I know mum's got him Megatron, the baddie leader. So he's got a transformers colouring book, and sticker set which was under $10.
Then to St. Lukes, which I detest.
St. Lukes was built to keep white trash from the suburbs ransacking the cultural superiority of places like my beloved home, Grey Lynn, and to this day it keeps these rabid scores of neanderthals at bay.
So I concluded that I am not attracted to teenage girls, there's just no girls my age. They're all in australia. Or something. They turn 21 and they ship them off. All I see is girls who are too young for me, and women with prams.
Anyway. Body Shop. This year I wasn't going to rely on Body Shop. So I grabbed a little somethin' under the $20 mark for each my Mum, my grandma, my step mum and my aunty. To my mum that's a safe bet, maybe too safe. But to my step mum, body shop is still "classy" so that's solid.
Oh and the girls who work there are always cute. And they love to see a guy going to an effort to pick something just right for mum. They just need customer friendly name tags identifying which girls are single.
Then to K Mart. We work the numbers here. Cousins and Uncles are not gonna care they got the same as another cousin or uncle. As long as its solid.
AND another thing I learnt: You score points with the adults (uncles + mums) if you give their kids (cousins + brothers ) decent gear. this is big advice.
Now the kids are gonna be stoked with chocolate because it's safe as, but to score points with the parents I also go the art supplies, because cousin Matt is all about inspiring creativity, not just sugar induced mayhem. $3.50 gets you a set of Happy Feet felt pens, and theres Barbie for the girls too.
I also picked up a Lego Garbage truck for my kid brother cos it's all transformers and lego and the garbage truck comes with cool moving parts (to me lego is all about getting good parts) and actual trash that goes in the trash compartment. And I'm totally yknow . . . Christmas is for kids, so I don't mind spending a bit extra. God knows I had it pretty sweet til I hit 18.
Then shit loads of bloody mixed nut/dried fruit kinda things for my uncles and mothers boyfriend. See i'm turning into a real foodie these days and though I've got the standard dodgy import k mart fare I'm also getting them all those new Thai lime and chilli cashews because it's tasty as hell for off the shelf shit and again, looks "classy". I also bought a case of Grapetiser to throw a couple of bottles of that in there.
Finally . . . a cd is still special to old people, they think its worth something, they still pay $25 for Fat Freddy's Drop or Hollie Smith or whatever makes my 50ish uncles/aunties/parents partners feel young and groovy. And they'll feel bloody groovy as when I plop them down each a "Merry Christmas from Matt" home burnt and printed CD with a tunes like "young folks" on it.
Not only do they value it, but you pick up extra "craft" points for falling into the hand/home made category.
Even my grandma will like "Young Folks", she doesn't have to know it was one of the hippest tunes of the year. And I'm sure my Uncles will love "Hey there delilah" and "She moves in her own way" without having to know that even good music can be bad when it's aimed at the teenage/mainstream market.
DON"T FORGET!!!
I'M HAVING A PARTY AT SAFARI LOUNGE IN PONSONBY ON SUNDAY IF YOU WANT TO COME!!! IT"S FREE!!! 8PM - 3 AM
SEEYA AND HAVE A MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
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